party in LA

igår va vi på förfest nere i downtown & sedan bar det av mot hollywood. tyvärr är ju de flesta killarna här i LA mkt snack o lite verkstad så kvällen blev väll inte riktigt som vi hade tänkt oss. det tar vi igen ikväll istället. vill man komma någonstans här i världen får man ta saken i egena händer. ikväll blir det Mario's after grammy party på my house.

see you there?

grammy party

nu får det bli svenska istället :P

iförrgår hade jag o emma helt sjukt kul på Playhouse. Grammy Pre party, två glada tjejor o en kändis rumpa, då går det som det går helt enkelt haha sjukt bra musik, dansiga människor o bara en anmält lyckad kväll.

idag ska vi festa vidare, Amanda fyller år på måndag som ska firas med party i downtown o sedan vidare till hollywood. ska blir niiice :)

min jädrans hosta vägrar att försvinna...huj...stackars mig...

around and around

sorry im super boring and dont write alot now adays...the reason why? i dont do anything. still on break (so one would think im enjoying my days off in LA to the fullest..i dont...). sun just came out which is a great feeling. walked to the post office today, loved the fresh air (as fresh as it could get with all the cars and shit here i guess) but really did not like the dude that worked there. just bc u ended up at a post office does not give u the right to be rude and unhelpful and rude!
i had a very good dinner tho. but now im back to my confused stupid thinking wishing hoping hating disgusted confused little me again. did i mention that im confused?

Dexter

what i wouldnt do to talk to my mom right now...for some reason, when i need her she is never there....hmm...

i dont understand whats wrong with LA...i thought it was suppose to be sunny here...i want my money back!

im not really in the mood of writing things today..everything thats going on in my head is about one thing and one thing only and im not ready to write or talk about it yet...we'll see...

Cecilie have me hooked on the tv show dexter now, so we spend our days watching that..so i guess next episode is waiting for us...how exciting! :P

life amognst the angels

sometimes life isnt as easy as u wish it was....i havent been writing much after arriving to LA but i just have had alot on my mind.... the sun is shining but i just dont care anymore...i dont even know what to say. things have not turned out the way we wanted it to, and now im just trying to cope with the changes...

anyhow.... things i figured out during my few days back in the city of angeles:

• Rihanna is totally flawless (saw her at the airport yesterday....man...)
• Guys are just horney idiots who think with their dicks
• Girls are just stupid sluts who think they dont deserve to be treated bad but they do.
• it is hard to get over your jetlag if you are sick and heartbroked.

im in LA, trick!

im in LA now...its not fun at all. didnt expect it to be either but whatever...
i got the badest cold ever...and im jetlaged...and im tired...yesterday i had such a bad headache i couldnt even open my eyes....fun shit...
the flight over here wasnt awesome either..started off pretty good tho. almost no ppl made it possible for me to sit wherever i wanted so i got a row for myself and were actually able to sleep some. when we came closer to LA the pilot said: "there is a tornado warning so we might get some torbulens. please fasten your seatbelt and remain seated for the rest of the flight." great. i wanted to get off right there. and yes, that was one bumpy ride...i started to sweat, to panic, to feel like i was gonna throw up..lovely..

anyway...here i am...back in this darn city...rain rain rain..i thought califronia weather meant sun, but i guess not...last year around this time me and em were sunbathing on our roof in hollywood.
things change.

its only midnight...and i have to stay up another 4 hours...and im already tired as fuck...typiskt...

byebye

why is it always so hard to say good bye? my true love Max and lovely sister Lisa left to go home today and now i wont see them before summer. i miss them already. i got a thousand hugs and a thousand slobby kisses from my super totalt awesome, charming and totaly awesome nephew and then he said: Heedå! and waved to me.

my sweetheart Felix got his male parts cut off today...my heart broked when we picked him up at the vet and he cired and cired and creid and he is still super nervous and have a hard time relaxing. porr little guy..

so tmw its time to take a deep breathe and face my fears, again. nothing great will come out of this. im gonna get in an airplane and when i after 342000000 hrs im gonna get to an apartment and..idk what... man....

im gonna stay up all night. figured i'd try to do that so that i can be super tired on the flight and sleep. which i do totaly in vain since i do that every time and it only makes me super tired but since im scared of flying i cant sleep whatever i do...typiskt.

oh well....

snipsnip

i should already be fast asleep since im gonna wake up earlier than what should be allowed...gonna go with mom into town with Felix to snipsnip off his precious part. poor guy, laying next to me knowing nothing of what tmw will bring...

tmw will also be my last day in sweden for this time. *heartbreak* i honestly dont know how i can leave my awesome family and wonderful friends and horny dog and my sick little Max and my great little Alfred and my super funny Carl and i just dont understand why i do it...
but its time, again. blä!

i've had such awesome last couple of days...my sister Lisa and Max have been staying with us so i've been snuggling with Max 24/7. mmm! losts of slobby kisses for aunt tessi! :D

yes, we can!

for the frist time in my enitre life i dont want to go to USA.

The story about the girl (aka me) and the land of the dreams.

August 2006, vacation with my family. a very super excited girl stared with amazed eyes at the world she would fall in love with. NYC, which she hated, and Florida (more or less all of it) which she loved.
January 2007, a very nervous/excited girl left her tiny home town in Sweden and moved to NYC, which she loved more then life it self. A year later she cried a thousand tears together with Em because she didnt want to leave.
August 2008, an extremly excited girl went to Los Angeles to study. A year later she went home over the summer and still couldnt wait to go back.
Winter, 2009. Present. Dont want to go back. Dont want to go to LA, dont want to go to the apartment, dont want to do anything but stay under my bed and just stay.

wierd how everything turned out....but if i've been able to go through so much other stuff, i can get through this too...

yes we can.

a boy came into my bed last night. he kissed my neck and made out with my ear. when i turned my back on him he started to get very excited...and also pulled my hair. i told him to stop but he didnt listen. so i pushed him out the room and then he stood outside and screamed for some time. as a revange he ate a sweater.
he will get his nuts cut of on monday. poor felix.

the begining of the end

im gonna write about how pathetic my little life is, but first of i have to write about the swedish radio, and of course my beloved P3. i just looooove P3! how awesome is it to be able to talk about thing u are not supose to talk about in radio! lol this would probably never happen in USA cuz maybe, maybe, someone would feel uncomfertable and sue them :P but here i am, listing to idk who, talking about seeing a penis with herpes in 3D and about Basshunter being a pro in bed lol got to love it!

anyhow...today is the last day here in Jönköping, and its spent mostely alone? :S Åsa is attending some autopsy..eww...carro was supposed to come over but didnt. so here i am. alone. thinking. again. life dont always turn out the way we wanted, hoped or begged it to. i dont even know how i want my life to be. but every ending opens a new begining right?

Auntie C, Auntie T & mommy Å.
Wierd, next time we will be four.

Is it wierd that im reading Åsas pregnent magazines? "You are in week XX and your baby is now XXcm, and its bajsbajs is starting to grow" Wow, i think, and look down at my flat stomach....... oh right, im not the pregnent one...

me, a week from today

as i feel now i dont even care if it happens...

complicated shit

old friends are really nice to have. i love my ÅSa & my Carro. what would i do without them?
unfortunatly it sometimes can be wierd trying to explain and talk and be open when u dont see them so often and when u live two very different lives. Åsa, with her Matz, engaged, pregnent, huge super nice apartment. Matz is this awesome, tall man who takes care of her, who's such a rock in the storm and im just so at ease knowing that he takes care of my girl. And Carro, tough sweet carro, dating this guy who has a super cute dog with a suuuuper cozy little house out in the forest and just so perfect little swedish dream...
idk... sometimes when im here in Sweden i just feel like im wasting my life in USA on a stupid dream of i dont know what, that will never come ture. i guess the biggest reason why it wont come true is because i dont even know what the dream is. im just lost. im lost and im scared and i dont know what the future will bring to me.

stupid complicated stupid stupid life

Jönköping

im in jönköping now, with my awesome friend Åsa & her awesome bf Matz. we played Cluedo. I won! Mohahahaha!!

i visited my uncle today. apparently i have relatives in Pasadena, which isnt far at all from where i live! cool! also visited my grandpa...he is really getting old...

i've always loved to drive. always. everywhere. far, fast and forever. not anymore. i feel like a old grandma saying this lol i feel extremly uncomfertable driving in the snow, in the dark. i drive slow, i dont pass any cars and when someone is passing me or anything my hearts stops...i guess this is what happens when u get old...

Varbergs fortress during the walk yesterday

One of Varbergs Spa's

red face

the best things about being out walking with dad in a snowy winterland isnt the great catching up that we can do, the nice chance of excerise or the beautiful sunset at the frozen ocean (pics coming tmw!) but the fact that now, my cheeks are red and warm and im so tired i could pass out right here right now.

i also had the great dinner with my brother and gisse. Kebabpizza!!! man i missed that!! watched Public Enemy. it was a cool movie, and mr depp is hot as usual!

Happy socks = happy feet

santa came last night. he looked alot like my brother peter..hmmm... he had a little red gift with him. it said: God jul Theres önskar Hanna & Peter.
it was socks. but not any kind of socks, but happy socks (not that i knew socks had emotions but apperently i was wrong. nothing strange with that, lately i've been wrong about most things)

My feet are very happy in my new Happy Socks!

My Happy Socks looks like this

its very interesting how some ppl just dont get it...u would think that after a while the little "AHA!" moment will appear and they would understand...i guess not...i guess im just being stupid.

time for me to get dressed. i mean, its only 1.12pm so whats the rush....im gonna say goodbye to my brother and hanna and then me and my dad are going for a walk and then im gonna go annoy my other brother Andreas until he kicks me out.
tmw is grandpa time and also 3 hrs in my car time to go to my lovely åsa.

observations

todays observations:

• Its cold in varberg
• Christer is still the best radioshow in sweden
• 15 years later my fam and i still cant play boardgames without fighting
• my brothers dog is about the cutest thing i have ever seen
• ppl really should think before they speak
• did i mention its cold here?
• i have an idea but dont know if i want to or can fullfill it...hmm...
  

i want to be a Na'vi

me and mom took away all the xmas decorations today. and put them in the attic. i hate the attic. its scary up there. and u have to climb the ladder. ladders are scary...

my friend Emma wrote on her blogg that there is pretty much summer in LA right now. so i figured i share some picture i took when me and mom walked felix today. Em, its not summer in sweden, let me tell u that much...



im gonna enjoy the snow until its time to go back to the golden state in 12 days...crazy...12 days...its gonna pass so fast...i feel like i just came!

my mom asked me this morning "is that cartoon movie with the blue ppl good?" my answer was "They made a new smurf movie?"
she was talking about avatar lol
of course i said it was the most awesomest movie ever made, so we went to see it. AVATAR! looooove it! my mom is a pretty picky movie person but when it was over she just looked at me and said "That was a damn good movie!"

my sisters beautiful wedding

if i had any more energy i would tell u guys about my beautiful sisters wedding in detail. i would talk about how great the morning was at the hairdresser, how fucking unbelievably cold it was to take photographs outside in the wind and snow dressed in a silk dress with bare arms. i would tell you how incredible cute my nephews are and how absolutly gorgeous my sister was in here dress. i would tell u about the yummy food, about how nice it was to see my brother and his gf and again, and how i had to shower and wash my face 5 times before all the makeup got off (still after 5 times the towel was brown....!) and how i passed out at like 3.30am after a nice talk with Q.
but im too tired to tell u all about that, so im just gonna say one thing:

The wedding was great!



The stunning bride

The bridesmade a.k.a me.

of what purpuse did i shovel all the snow on our porch if its just gonna keep on snowing anyway?

my nephey Max must be the smartest sweetest most awesomest little man on this earth.

he came on a visit not too long ago, and came running to give me a hug and then we walked around in the house and he said: "whats that?" (or no, he said "Va ä dä?" haha) and i said "thats santa" so he said "Ja" and then moved over some to point at the next santa and ask the same question lol and he can count to three!! and he is not even 2 years old!
he is aunt tess pride and joy!

Nice muscles!!!

im gonna be a braidsmaid tmw! go to the hairdresser in the morning, getting my hair done, my makeup done, together with my fellow bridesmaid Lisa and the bride, Minna.
im super excited!! im feeling better just thinking about it :P

today, mom forced me out of the house to make me feel better....it worked but maaan i was exhausted...even to stand up in the shower made me lose my breathe and i had to sit down several times cuz my legs just wouldnt keep me up...im such a strong woman! lol

time for me to pack my little bag (we are sleeping over tmw..in a castle...scary..wonder if anyone died there...).

Im a rockstarrrr!

haha u guys are funny! i've never had so many readers as i did yesterday when i wrote about vomiting and dirrhea lol oh well i guess yukie things & sex is the two most interesting things for ppl. should i start to write about sex??? i doubt it, my parents might read lol

so, instead, im gonna keep talking about vomits (to please you) and school (to please dad) :P

Vomit:
When i started to feel better last night, mom came runing, took my "vomit-bucket". 3 sec later i hear her puking. eewww...typiskt lixom, i made her sick...
today im feeling better (and my mom too!) but i cant really eat...half a sandwich...to have stomachflue is a great way to lose weight!! perfect for the wedding in two days! :P

School:
I guess im smarter than i think i am..! the grades are out for fall 2009 and im on the deans honor list.. woop woop :P I got a B in my math.. a B!!! thats just so crazy...i thought i was gonna fail..like not like when u go around and say "oh no im gonna fail" but u know u wont, but like i thought for real for real that i was gonna fail..or maybe, if i was darn lucky, i would get a c, but i could never even dream about getting a b!! :O but im saying thank u very much mr yan :P

my sister is getting married on tuesday, and she asked me (yesterday! :S) to make a cd with songs they can play at the party...tjena...takes forevee, especially since all my music is on my broken computer back in LA....

sensitive readers please be aware!

wow....i have never in my entire life had a worse night then last night.
started off with talking/arguing to/with Quinn. then my stomach started to hurt. like really reqally hurt. i figured maybe its cramps (which would be wierd since im not supposed to get cramps) layed down and tried to relax but i just couldnt...suddenly, i feel like im gonna have to make a run for it. so i did. good thing the bathroom is right outside my door. i have never had worse diarrhea, ever. it was like u opend up a tap and it just came flowing out lol (YES, women do poop. Quinn, I dont poop! :P) so after that i went back in bed, and i hadent even layed down before it was time again.... this time i was sitting on the toilet with a bucket between my legs. to have diarrhea and toomit at the same time is not the most pleasent thing...
so this is what i spend my night doing, running between my bedroom and bathroom. until 5am, when i just couldnt take it anymore and came crawling crying to my mom that i couldnt take it anymore... she gave me pills and after a few more bathroom visits i could sleep for like an hour. then quinn calls and wake me up..boy did i love him at that moment lol

whatever..im gonna realax some more, drinking my tea, one tablespoon at the time.

sorry for the nasty post!

how do u keep a new years resolution?

im really really tired. i passed out infront of the tv at 9 lol i hate being hangover, my stomach is always such a mess... :/

so my new years resolution was to listen more to what i want and less what others want. i think that is a good thing and something i really need to learn. i've alwasy seen myself as a strong person, and i am. i can take care of myself, i can move to the other side of the earth without frineds or family and i can make something of my self. but i cant stop listing to what other ppl think!! its super annoying...i need everybodys approval, i need somebody to tell me do this do that, i cant make any decisons myself...time to grow up missy!!

hmmm...to stay awake and wait so i can talk to Quinn or to pass out, that is the question...what do u think i should do? :P

sleepy new year

wow im tired as hell..! i had a great time last night even tho nothing really special went down. me, my mom, roger, carl and susanna áte delicious new year dinner and then me and susanna went down to the beach (in -1000000 degres) and drank champagne and made new years reslolutions and watched the fireworks and then we went to Lina (my sisters bff :P) and hung out with all of them for awhile... im tired now...huj....its only 2.43pm...i wish it was 10pm so i could go to sleep now..